I just had one of the scariest moments I have experienced in a long time.
My friend wrote something, and it almost sounded like it could have been a suicide note. I was so scared for a little bit of time. I always read what he writes, but this was different than anything else. This was a story. Normally it's just songs. Normally it's something he wants help writing, but this was finished. Completely done, and actually somewhat used real life in it. He used his name, and his nickname for his girlfriend. So, I was worried, and it said "Today is your last day, tomorrow will not come."
I received it three hours ago. When I got to the end I went on msn to see if he was there; it said he was online but when I messaged him I got no response... so I messaged him again. I was just talking normally, because I thought, you know, maybe it's not a hidden message behind his writings. So I waited. I waited for ten minutes, freaking out, just in case it was. I had no way to go into town to check on him, or get a hold of him other than that; I wasn't smart enough to think about texting him. I waited, waited, and waited some more, all the while thinking to myself "I'm too late." But I had no idea what could have gone so wrong in his life. None whatsoever.
But nothing did. When the ten minutes were over, I received a message that said "Haha, no there definitely wasn't a hidden message, it just sorta came to me. :)" And all my worries were gone. I know that he wouldn't lie to me. He never has. He's a wonderful guy, and I guess we're closer than a lot of people think we are. But, I was worried. And I told him I was... he told me thanks... I guess it showed that I cared, or something.
Despite all of the pain I was in and the frantic feeling I had, I'm glad I worried. I'm glad I put myself in that situation because it showed me how much it would hurt if I actually lost him. I didn't go to too much freak out mode, but I was scared. I wasn't crying, thankfully, but maybe that's because I knew he was still there, somewhere. His msn was still set to "online" So he couldn't have been that far. I kept such a close eye, checking to see if it changed to "away" or "busy." But thankfully, it didn't, and he came back and told me he was going to go play guitar.
The good old him. The typical him.
I can't say how happy I am to know that it wasn't a suicide note. There was no hidden meaning behind what he wrote. It was a just a story. But it shows how much words can reflect on real life, how they can mean certain things to different people and create a story that is so different, while being exactly the same.
Words are so powerful, meaningful, and full of option. I have always known this. But it came to more of a reality for me today. I'm so thankful that the meaning I got was wrong and that there was another meaning I was not seeing.
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My friend wrote something, and it almost sounded like it could have been a suicide note. I was so scared for a little bit of time. I always read what he writes, but this was different than anything else. This was a story. Normally it's just songs. Normally it's something he wants help writing, but this was finished. Completely done, and actually somewhat used real life in it. He used his name, and his nickname for his girlfriend. So, I was worried, and it said "Today is your last day, tomorrow will not come."
I received it three hours ago. When I got to the end I went on msn to see if he was there; it said he was online but when I messaged him I got no response... so I messaged him again. I was just talking normally, because I thought, you know, maybe it's not a hidden message behind his writings. So I waited. I waited for ten minutes, freaking out, just in case it was. I had no way to go into town to check on him, or get a hold of him other than that; I wasn't smart enough to think about texting him. I waited, waited, and waited some more, all the while thinking to myself "I'm too late." But I had no idea what could have gone so wrong in his life. None whatsoever.
But nothing did. When the ten minutes were over, I received a message that said "Haha, no there definitely wasn't a hidden message, it just sorta came to me. :)" And all my worries were gone. I know that he wouldn't lie to me. He never has. He's a wonderful guy, and I guess we're closer than a lot of people think we are. But, I was worried. And I told him I was... he told me thanks... I guess it showed that I cared, or something.
Despite all of the pain I was in and the frantic feeling I had, I'm glad I worried. I'm glad I put myself in that situation because it showed me how much it would hurt if I actually lost him. I didn't go to too much freak out mode, but I was scared. I wasn't crying, thankfully, but maybe that's because I knew he was still there, somewhere. His msn was still set to "online" So he couldn't have been that far. I kept such a close eye, checking to see if it changed to "away" or "busy." But thankfully, it didn't, and he came back and told me he was going to go play guitar.
The good old him. The typical him.
I can't say how happy I am to know that it wasn't a suicide note. There was no hidden meaning behind what he wrote. It was a just a story. But it shows how much words can reflect on real life, how they can mean certain things to different people and create a story that is so different, while being exactly the same.
Words are so powerful, meaningful, and full of option. I have always known this. But it came to more of a reality for me today. I'm so thankful that the meaning I got was wrong and that there was another meaning I was not seeing.
