Surgery.
Doctors NEVER tell you how much it's going to hurt. To them, it's a procedure they do on people "standardly." It's normal. But to the patient? It's nothing close to normal. It's not being able to walk - not being able to move - to do anything for themselves. Almost two weeks ago, I had surgery on my knee. They did a scope (which, yes, is pretty normal), but then they had to cut my muscles so that they could move my kneecap to the place where it's supposed to be. So, I came out of it with not only tremendous pain in my knee, but a muscle that probably won't feel completely normal for three months, and a foot that I couldn't move fully until yesterday. I can now move all my toes, and it feels like such an accomplishment.
This has taught me so much. I never really appreciated how easy it was to get around. I never really... considered how hard people in wheelchairs can have it. But then this happened - and I became closer with someone that I knew, but didn't really know. See, she's in a wheelchair right now too. So, we basically bonded over being handicapped together. But hers is so much worse than mine, because she got in a car accident and broke bones. I'm insanely proud of her, she stands up so strongly, and even though she thinks she's lazy for not trying more, I believe that she's trying. She shows a strong side, no matter how hard she's feeling it that day. I feel for her, because she's had her leg situation for a lot longer than I have... and I'll probably recover quicker, because it's a less serious thing. But even when I'm healed again, I'm not going to put her out of my life because she's in a wheelchair. I know how hard it is to see friends when you can't go out, and you live out of town. People just don't want to travel that far to see you - even if it's just 10 minutes (hers is farther than that, and I even understand with mine only being 10 minutes). The friendships that grow from the most random, sucky things, can be amazing. I talk to her more than I talk to friends that I've had for years - and I don't have a reason why. It's not like I'm trying to push my non-gimpy friends away. :P
I can say that I will never take my legs for granted again. Not being able to get up and get food, or go to the bathroom by myself.. it's showed just how much I've had to rely on other people these past few weeks and it sucks. When people are fully healthy, they never want to do anything for themselves - they're always like "Moooooom, can you make me a sammich?" But I hate that I can't get up and make myself that freakin' sandwich. I can't go raid the cupboard and see what I want anymore, I have to think about what I think might be appetizing and then ask my mom if we have it. I'm sure you all know how hard it is to know what you want to eat without raiding the cupboard - cuz most people just raid cupboards to find something to eat. Another thing that's really hard now is getting outside, up and down the stairs, with ice and snow. I was okay without it, I never fell. But as soon as it snowed? Christmas Day, I had my first fall. I was going up the steps on the deck outside so I could get in the house. I slipped, somehow... I don't even know how it happened. But I can't even describe how much it hurt. I only have a wrap holding my knee straight (scary thought - it has to come off today or tomorrow... yikes).... and all I remember is that it REALLY hurt my quad and my foot. Somehow I landed on my toes, and they were tingling like a mad man. I can't even describe it.
All I can say is... appreciate what you wouldn't normally. Appreciate your legs - they help you get around. Appreciate your arms, they help you reach things. Appreciate walking - standing - never take it for granted, because it can be taken from you... and when it is, it really sucks.